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[02 Nov 2006|07:34pm] |
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"99 Red Balloons" by Goldfinger |
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Alright, classes are now over for today and so now I can do this! lol
First and foremost, my bestest best friend Ellie is now living with all of us! I'm very excited even if the circumstances kind of well, sucked, to put it lightly. Apparently her new journalism class has turned out to be somewhat like a blessing in disguise and a bit of a hardship. She wrote an article that was well, derogatory about her newer roommate and things got blown out of proportion and thus ended in her being kicked out of residence. She's now living with us now though, which is good, because at the moment any money we can get is a good thing since we're paying for the house, the bills, AND my tuition. Anyway yes, Ellie is now sleeping in our guest room.
I mentioned in my last entry that I was tentatively considering joining the LGBT group on campus and I did go to a meeting about a week and a half ago. It was pleasantly surprising, and I enjoyed it. I'll probably be going back though since I'm out and not really dealing with anything beyond my own family issues I'll probably just go to listen and talk to others who need help.
On my family issues, nothing's changed. It's as if my parents have fallen off the face of the planet and I haven't spoken to my mother since then and it's kind of a depressing subject for me.
However, on a happier note, halloween was fun! Since everyone was working on Halloween and I happened to be off, Ellie and I went trick-or-treating for old times' sake. =D She insisted on making me some kind of vampire, though quite frankly I think it was more an excuse to shove me into fishnet and too tight pants, and paint eyeliner on me XD I looked utterly ridiculous I swear, but since she was similarly dressed I didn't feel as stupid as I should have. And hey, candy for the hyperactive kid? Happy day.
Anyway, Dylan should be home in about thirty minutes so I'm going to go be bored. Ellie's off with her hot journalism editor for the night so I've been very lonely lol. =]
ps- This was my best birthday yet.
Night guys.
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[02 Nov 2006|08:33am] |
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mood |
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I've got to make this quick! I have to leave for my first class in about ten minutes. I just wanted to apologize for my long absense XD First I got busy with school, then Ellie moved in (which I'll talk about later tonight), and then our internet mysteriously vanished for AGES. SO, I'm going to go to class and when I come back I'll fill all this stuff in. I don't have work today or tomorrow so it's a good time to do it. I'll also nudge Ellie to update since I mentioned it to her last night (as if she'd wake up before nine).
Anyway, I've really got to run if I'm going to get any coffee, so more later.
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[22 Sep 2006|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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"Far Away" by Nickleback |
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I'm alive I'm alive lol.
I had the most insane couple of projects for psychology, one of which involved me having to make a ten minute movie so I've been running all around town filming various things for the last week xD I actually had lots of fun. I had to interview random people about things that they feel and believe so I annoyed Troy at work and of course everyone in the house, and even some strangers which was rather embarrassing =S Anyway, suffice to say while I was out being an utter nag on the world's patience I forgot to update this for awhile XD
I've also been considering joining the GLBT group on campus. There's a lesbian couple in my english class whom have been nudging me to atleast check it out the last couple of weeks and I'm beginning to cave. lol. I've never so much as talked to someone about being gay beyond say Dylan and Ellie and Paige, so it's going to be beyond odd.
Anyway, I need to finish cleaning a bit sometime tomorrow since Ellie and Paige are coming down this weekend. I'm excited, haven't seem them in what feels like ages. Email and phones can only go so far. And Ellie has quite a few secrets to tell in these emails. Supposedly her and Craig haven't spoken in awhile? =[ It makes me sad. She says she's not quite sure how much longer they'll be together. Color me surprised, that doesn't sound like her at all.
Hmm, sooo I'm going to stop reading this deadly dull textbook and go find that tall blonde thing wherever he may be. Perhaps I can persuade him into making me almost midnight waffles because I'm starving. =3
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[10 Sep 2006|06:59pm] |
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mood |
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"Here We Go" by Freaky Flow |
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I haven't updated in ages! I'm sorry.
School's actually really gotten started so I'm running around like mad reading the texts and doing homework or whatever else needs to be done inbetween working at the coffee shop. I just want to do a good job I guess, since it took so much to get me here I guess?
Ellie's been emailing me like...everyday to tell me what new strange thing she's done with her roommates. She also tells me about how good her journalism class is going. I'm proud of her XD Traveling reporter, Ellie Nash, less fact than fiction after all this time.
Otherwise? I am far too hyper. I kind of just want to go...dance and jump around among other things. Then again, I got off of work about an hour ago and I am very much high on caffeine as always.
Right. I think I am going to go somewhere no one can see me and dance like an utter sob. Then I can go get Dylan from work and force him to do it with me xD
Life's pretty good. Sans dad problems, I'm actually really happy.
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[25 Aug 2006|07:28am] |
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mood |
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 good |
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"You Had a Bad Day" by Daniel Powter |
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Well, I'm in classes at U of T and life no longer feels like it hates me. The day after Dylan told me he'd dropped his classes and that utter day of shock, I went out and got applications for a few of the universities in town, but I really wanted to go to this one so I'm glad that's where I ended up.
I've tried phoning my father once every couple of days for a sign of life but there's still none coming. I'm starting to do it less. I've thought of going to visit ma like I usually do on Mondays but now I don't think it's really worth risking running into him. Who knows if this time isn't the one he decides to demand me to leave my house. Lately I wouldn't really doubt it, because I never thought he'd do this either.
I had to explain to my boss about why I was quitting, then asking for my job back, and then asking for only part time all within one two weeks. She went with it though so now I'm working as much as I can on a school schedule but it's not bad. Plus a good half of the customers there are in fact, students at U of T so I'll probably badger them while I do homework while I'm there (we have dead periods where there's nothing to do).
I woke up at three am to go say goodbye to Ellie one more time. She didn't look too happy about being awake but I didn't want her to leave before I could hug her. She called me when she got there that night so I didn't think she'd died in a car accident or anything. So far she seems to be having a great time.
I still feel bad sometimes though. I mean, I kinda just switched spots with Dylan at his college. He doesn't ever seem to be unhappy about it but...I suppose I can't help but wish I could still change the circumstances. Though I know that's impossible. Wishes suck that way.
And now I've got to jet.
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[05 Aug 2006|11:34pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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You know that feeling you got when you were little? When you did something wrong and you knew it and then your parents just stared down at you with this utter disappointment that just...killed you? I feel that way about my father...only with the roles switched.
I knew there was something wrong with my email address not allowing me to sign in. It was disconcerting. I had work yesterday and so I didn't call them like I thought I would but I did today. They transferred my call to someone who could help me this time and I found out why exactly that email wasn't working.
I'm not enrolled. At all. Apparently my father never sent in my tuition whatsoever. I was just...in shock for the longest time after I said goodbye to the person who helped me. It just didn't make sense. So I called my father and he said hello...but as soon as he heard my voice he hung up on me. My own dad hung up on me. I called again and again. I've been calling all day just to figure out what's going on, to know if maybe this was just all some big mistake, but he hasn't answered the phone since.
Why...why would he do this? Is it because I'm gay? Or because I said I wouldn't join him in the family business? Or...God I don't know. I'm just...this college meant so much to me. He knew that. When I found out I had been accepted it was like the hugest sigh of relief in my life. And my own father took it away from me.
I don't even know what I'm going to do now. I'm worried out of my mind. And I just...hate crying. I hate it, I wish I'd just stop because it's stupid. I just want to know why papa hates me so much.
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[03 Aug 2006|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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"You're a God" by Vertical Horizon |
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So I did call for help on Monday and they told me it was probably just a technical error and not to worry. Unfortunately it is now Wednesday and said "technical error" is still here and preventing me from checking it. -_- I think I'll call them again tomorrow. I don't mean to be a nag but I'm going to need that email soon.
It seems that silly email address is all I'm talking about XD That's mostly because nothing of extreme interest has happened at all this week. Just the normal =] Marco likes the normal.
I did however clean the batcave this morning because I was off work and mind numbingly bored and if Dylan's actually home from work neither of us do anything XD It's quite pathetic. But now it is. There's just something not really fun about stuff all over the floor lol. Then again...I'm weird.
I'm also bored of the computer now. I am now going to go track down some entertainment =]
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[29 Jul 2006|11:26am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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I am going to be late for work if I continue sitting here because I haven't had a shower yet, but I can't get into my university email account! At all. I've been trying for the last half hour now...and nothing. And I can't call to ask about it til the office opens on Monday either.
AH! The world hates me.
*goes to get ready for work now*
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[16 Jul 2006|10:49am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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"Pretty Girl" by Sugarcult |
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Jess was hurting day before yesterday =[ it sucked. It was however nice to lay with someone more my size for a while before I had to go to work. She's better now =]
I would talk about my small argument with Dylan but I don't really want to. Hopefully...that's fixed for awhile. I guess I need to learn how to mind my own business sometimes.
Um, what else has been going on? I finished my dumb book last night xD I must now go to the bookstore to get the next one. Why? Because I do nothing else but go to work and read when my source of entertainment's are gone or busy. But I won't complain, it was a good story after all lol. Mm I think my geek is showing by this point.
Time to go take a shower for work. =] Why am I always excited to go to work? xD
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[03 Jul 2006|04:00pm] |
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mood |
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giddy |
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"She Is" by the Fray |
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I am finally home! *flails dramatically* I have come the conclusion that the school year is going to be the worst thing I'll ever live through. This was only a week away and I was frighteningly busy through the whole thing. I never even had a chance to miss home and Dylan until night but that was definitely enough to mess with my head.
However on the good side of things I actually had a lot of fun. They played all these really silly games to force you to get to know people and test the waters. I felt utterly ridiculous through most of it but still had fun. I met what felt like thousands of people as well. There were two girls, Abby and Sarah, whom I ended up following around for most of it. They were the ones who seemed to talk to me most and they were nice...if a little giggly.
My roommate cracked me up. He snored at night, several hours were spent out in the hallway because of it. And he was a computer nerd to the point I couldn't understand half of what he was saying.
Oh and entrance exams literally killed my brain. If I did less than good on any of them I will probably die thanks to the hours spent frying my mind during them.
Regardless of all the fun, weirdness, and pain I was very happy to see Dylan on Saturday morning. I was ready to go home and well...I hardly wanted to just sit in a car again but it wasn't so bad since he was there. We eventually decided just stay up there a night. He looked five minutes from falling asleep on the wheel so it was better that way.
We arrived home for real at about eleven last night. And I actually slept for a long time. I think it was six or seven when I finally woke up. Returning to real life again is going to suck though.
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[26 Jun 2006|01:09am] |
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"You and I Both" by Jason Mraz |
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Today has been such a long day lol
I'm in New Brunswick for the school orientation that I kept telling everyone about finally. It's an indescribably long drive over here as well. I don't envy Dylan considering he's the one who drove it and then also re-drove it all the way back to TO and he gets to redo it all over again at the end of the week. This drive is what I get to look forward to for the next year. -_- notsofun
It wasn't all bad though. I'm glad I didn't have to make the drive by myself anyway. Plus it was actually rather fun at some points. Like attempting to beat him up in a parking lot and such =] However he is not here with me now and that's...not cool.
There wasn't much today beyond a short little "hi we're in the same room" meeting because of course most people had traveled great lengths to get there and were tired and getting situated in their rooms and all that. But the meeting wasn't too bad atleast. I guess I wasn't expecting it to be so interactive. They walked around and seriously asked basically every person there what they wanted from going to school there and how many service hours they had before applying and all sorts of things. You know what's really sad though? There were a few people there who had so much time devoted to whatever social causes they had. I was way intimidated but after talking to them and what they did it's really neat.
Anyway, it is now three am and I'm still awake! All the excitement and such I'm sure. Oh well, I'll just have to sleep well tomorrow =3 coffee!
Well, I'm going to turn this off for a while I think. If anyone wants to call me feel free. I might not answer immediately depending on where I am or what I'm doing but I'll call back! =D
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[10 Jun 2006|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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"My Mixed Tape" by Jack's Mannequin |
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um, unfortunately I don't have much to say =S Not much has really gone on the past week at all.
I've been working at my job mostly. Oh and Dylan ambushed me there the other day xD I mean he literally gave me a heart attack, making me think something bad had happened or was going to happen, and once we're in the back alley he just all "oh I was bored at home". I considered beating him up but instead went to finish my shift quickly so I could get home and make sure he didn't start scribbling on the walls. I've never really noticed how much attention or constant change he needs XD Poor boy is going to all but die when I leave for college. Jess is going to have to take care of him.
Other than work the only change this week period has been the kittens! I do believe I'm in love with them. Especially Sophia. She climbs all over anyone who gets in the floor, which is usually Trey of course, but I'm usually there when he's not, so you'll watch tv and suddenly have a lap of orange cat. And when Krull so much as enters a room Dylan turns and gives him the most evil face known to mankind. I think he thinks the kitten is out to get him. I've been accused of taking the cat's side far too many times already =P
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[01 Jun 2006|10:02am] |
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"Golden Days" -- ooh listen it's craig on the radio...again |
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The weather the last couple of days has just sucked hasn't it? Well...Dylan loves it anyway. But it's wet and cold and once I get inside I'm miserable. I think I look somewhat like Linus (not the evil one) carrying blankets around.
I think I actually fell asleep on the couch last night. I was up there because the basement gets pretty cold when it rains. Probably because of the storm door, I'm not positive. But when I woke up I was downstairs and it was actually warm. I stayed there most of the morning actually just lazing around before dragging myself up. Ran to say good morning to Tim before I had work. And work is where I am. Morning rush = gone. And I = bored.
I actually think today is the first day I haven't been at the hospital for most of the day. That was...a rough spot for awhile. I was probably no fun at all, being dragged to and from that place everyday while all he did was sleep. I was a mess. But it seems like it's all getting back on track. He's awake, and while not smiling, he's talking.
Ellie and I had coffee night before last (because I so don't get enough of it at work). And she got me all caught up on what's going on from that end of the spectrum. I got to hear about dating Craig finally!. Heard about life with her dad which I'm so happy to hear about. Can't help but feel jealous at times, but I don't really want to admit to that. But all in all it's good to just see her again.
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[17 May 2006|08:52pm] |
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mood |
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"Champagne Supernova" by Oasis |
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*cracks fingers in preparation*
Okay. First off, to start light-hearted, I never saw Hayden naked on accident. Didn't happen. I wish.
Second, I probably threw Dylan way off yesterday night when he came home. He had gone out with Brian and upon getting out of the car they said there goodbyes, complete with a light kiss. And I guess, knowing me and how stupidly insecure I get at a moments notice, took that the completely wrong way and started accusing and well...it wasn't very pretty on my part. I bite far too easily when I get upset and I hate it. =S But I apologized and he reassured me and so it was probably the shortest argument we've ever had.
Third, Tim came by while I was at work tonight and gave me the shock of my life. He looked utterly horrible, falling over himself, dazed. I told Troy I'd be back (which I did manage some two hours later) and proceeded to take him home. I'm stunned he even got to the coffee shop seeing as he was inches from walking into oncoming traffic the whole way back. But eventually we got there and started screaming at each other like I promised I wouldn't do. He just...wasn't himself and I was reacting wrong to it. And then he just...passed out. Cold. I was terrified. Didn't know what to do. I eventually pulled him into his room and called Ellie. I had found the syringes moments before so I knew WHY he was passed out...but the idiot wouldn't let me take him to get help! So Ellie was called a little later to help smooth things out.
Fourth, Tim agreed to take my hand and my help, only if Ellie joined us. So I have him to thank, because she actually looked at me more than twice that night. And that's something. I miss her terribly.
Well...I am off, to quit being emo. I seem to be extraordinarily good at that. If I didn't hate it so much I'd start wearing eyeliner.
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[12 May 2006|10:28pm] |
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mood |
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giggly |
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"My Goddess" by the Exies |
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Dylan and I got back from camping somewhat late on Thursday night. We had said noon but that didn't happen. And I had planned on getting on here but alas never did. I was very tired. =]
It was actually quite a lot of fun. I got dragged into that scum infested lake and I'm almost certain something slimy touched my legs at some point but oh well. And smores are amazing I've decided. I should have them more often.
However coming back and then having work on Friday is not so fun. Then again, you can hardly have good coffee in the middle of the wilderness so I drank quite a lot while I was there. Came home an utter nut of course thanks to the caffeine high. I'm still pretty up there, just waiting to crash back down XD
I guess in more serious news Tim actually spoke to me the other day. He had come by my work to ask after the tickets I sent him rather loudly. I was rather glad my manager wasn't there that night or I might have been in quite a lot of trouble for that vocal scene. But it turned out to be worth it. I was finally able to apologize properly and I'm crossing my fingers in the hopes things will work out.
Anyway, to wrap this up, word to the wise, when you think Jess and Hayden are not home, you should still knock on doors while going through the house anyway.
That is all.
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[04 May 2006|05:13am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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"Let Go" by Frou Frou |
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Quick update before I start running around getting ready. I am upstairs making coffee and it is COLD. I love how they keep the thermostat in the sixties upstairs. I've gotten quite adept at getting dressed in total darkness so I'll be properly layered once I'm upstairs lol
Life is going smoothly. Better than smoothly truth be told. I'm enjoying it. Though thanks to finals everyone in the house has been slightly insane the last few days. I was also called into work two days more than I should have been because they can't keep up with all the college students that literally attacked the place for lifeblood XD And the place doesn't close til midnight so I was there for AGES. But thankfully finals are over so they'll all chill out for awhile.
Otherwise, I've been reading a lot to stay out of trouble. lol. Lord knows if left to my own devices Dylan never would have gotten much studying done. I would have put up a good effort, sat there and not fidgeted or talked or whined for a whole, I don't know, five minutes, before bounding off and forcing people to pay attention to me xD No problems now though.
In other news Craig is back! =D I haven't even got to see him yet but Paige told me. I think that kind of made my week to hear.
Among the bad however, Paige's trial is in a week. Talking to her she seems okay with everything. I take this as a good sign. Ellie hasn't spoken to me in ages. In fact, to hear she even spoke to Dylan but not to me...I don't know how to get through. I'm scared I never will. But I don't want to barge into her life either. Yuck. And I also attempted a last ditch attempt to apologize to Tim...it's looking doubtful.
But I don't want to be a wet blanket. I refuse. Especially with the prospect of going camping over the summer =E Bugs will eat me, large animals will eat me, but it still sounds fun.
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[19 Apr 2006|05:24am] |
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mood |
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Mmph.
So...the tour of the house didn't go so well so to speak. If you call my father storming out and shouting expletives and pointing fingers not so bad. I suppose it's really not horrid...I had expected worse back when I was younger...but now that I'm older I guess I've spoiled myself on the idea or something and I let it get to me worse than it should. But it's no big...where that once might have left me in serious mental trouble I'm just fine. I had Dylan holding my hand behind my back when I finally did it and there for me afterwards. =]
Along this more morbid track of things I ran into Tim today. I think if one could record the screaming match from hell it would sound a whole lot like that. There's something wrong with him...and I don't just mean that bruise on his face. He's lying to me. He's lying to me and I know it and he's denying it, which coming from him is never a good thing. I'm not quite sure what to do.
However, with this small string of bad luck I've still been really happy. Dylan keeps me occupied and smiling and that's what I need most of the time =] With our food fights and subterfuge I can hardly say I've been bored lol.
Well, I am going back downstairs now. It is very cold up here in the living room and I forgot socks. =S I'll probably wake Dylan up with my feet =E
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[15 Apr 2006|02:15pm] |
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mood |
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confused |
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"Take Me, Or Leave Me" from RENT |
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Had quite the tear fest early this morning. That was rather eye-opening for lack of a better word. He won't say he loves me...and yet at the same time the way he acts seems to go against that. He confuses me but I'm willing to work through it for him...if I ever get him back that is. But I have hope.
Work is work at the moment. Rather hectic but definitely not crazy considering not a single person has exams any longer and everyone is pretty much partying now instead. Though there's a new girl who was hired wednesday I rather like. She reminds me of Taylor...whom I haven't seen or spoken to in ages.
And...tonight my parents are coming over for a little...tour of the house. And I'm showing them the batcave...with it's one bed. Nervous issues but I realize it's time. I can't keep him from them forever.
Well...um...I'm out. I'm not really thinking straight. Sorry. Sorry just a little hung up on earlier, I haven't quite woken up from that conversation.
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[04 Apr 2006|06:20pm] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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music |
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"Slide" by the Goo Goo Dolls |
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So...I'm in the process of moving into The Batcave. >.> Yes, that was heard correctly for those of you suffering heart attacks. He um...asked me the other night out of nowhere and I...said yes. I'm looking forward to it. I realized it'd only be until September but it'd be worth it. After three months of barely seeing him I'm practically hurting myself to be around him as much as I can.
I spoke to my parents, or I should say ma, about it and the fact that I'm leaving within the next five months anyway she didn't seem overly upset about it. Not to mention the house is only two blocks away. I'm sure it's not as grand a nightmare as any parent would like to make it out to be.
The other side of that of course is that mama knows who Dylan is and who he is to me more importantly. Papa however does not and remains clueless. We've been getting along as of late but anytime Ma brings up Tim or family or anything at all he goes crazy on me yet again and I'm left to recover because I let myself trust him enough again to get hurt.
Regardless, now I'm in the process of moving my crap to Trey's. And it turns out I have quite a lot more crap than I ever thought I had before. I had to make two trips for my clothes alone. lol But we're pretty much there and everything's good. I don't have to lock my door like a psychomaniac anymore or make sure my tv is on quietly just in case I laugh at night.
And best of all...no more little twin bed =D
Anyway, I need to get off of my laptop and go continue helping. The other boys might break something >=E Ma wants to see the house soon. Or wants to see where I'm living now anyway. Papa still hates these so-called "evil college students" since the tattoo incident but ma quite likes Jess and Dylan and wants to see where they live. Nervous issues in that area as far as papa is concerned.
I haven't been able to get ahold of Tim either. His phones are constantly off the hook and I just feel terrible. I never meant to hurt him like I did...but I don't know how to fix it either. Especially since he's practically fallen off the face of the planet.
Ellie hangs up on me too. I'm not terribly sure what to do about that either. She's my best friend after all...and she hates me.
Well I'm off to save my possessions from the big bad boys. Later.
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[30 Mar 2006|09:44pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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[[[private friends' group locked entry]]]
Tuesday was Jess' bachelor party. It started off wonderful. Everybody was laughing and carrying on and I was having a great time. After talking to Dylan on the phone the night before he seemed really talkative, or moreso than usual. It seems like everytime I've ever seen him lately he's been really down or looked terribly thanks to meds and who knew what else but he seemed genuinely happy last night.
He left at some point, as did I, and I accidentally bumped into him in the hallway. He had had a box under his arm and it had spilled on the floor. I helped him clean it up only to find that the box was actually full of all the pictures of myself and him that used to litter his wall...and something hit me. I don't know...seeing both of us smiling and remembering how I used to steal these very same pictures and being able to name off exactly where each one came from, who took it...I kissed him.
I woke up in the basement beside him while he was still asleep and I didn't know what to do. I...I panicked. I dressed as quickly as I could and raced back upstairs where everyone else was crashed on the couch and just let myself out.
The wedding came on schedule of course and I was terrified to go. I wasn't sure if Dylan would hate me, blame me, anything. I just didn't want to let this nightmare go on after we'd just made up. He kept trying to talk to me all day inbetween all the hecticness of getting the wedding started and goign smoothly. Each time I avoided him somehow or someone else did it for me on accident, keeping us both separated and running about.
I never even had a chance to look him in the eye properly until Jess and Hayden were taking their vows and I looked over at him. He stared at me in question but I dropped it quickly.
At home I tried to forget it. Dylan probably hated me after all. But eventually I couldn't stand it anymore and walked practically next door, going down to his little bat cave and I apologized. I apologized thinking that he had regretted what had happened, that I shouldnt' have in the first place.
But against all my preconceptions...he said he wanted to be with me. And kissed me. For once it feels like the world is moving forward.
I have to tell Tim soon. Tomorrow. I don't know. I just know right now I dont' want to leave Dylan. For once I'm not being screamed at...and it's just...amazing. I don't...I don't even know what to think.
Nothing beyond how grateful I am.
[[steve, I forgot, but I won't be here tomorrow evening. I have a tournament out of town. Go ahead and update whatever you like breakup wise tomorrow and I'll try to catch up.]]
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[26 Mar 2006|05:18pm] |
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"Give" by the Goo Goo Dolls |
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So it seems a lot has changed since the last time I updated. I never even got the chance to update about that horrid night.
Basically after exams I had gone to Paige's and Dylan had been there and just a great many things happened. In other words, Dylan mentioning the dressing room incident. And Tim ran out and we fought in the street. When I went to try again the next day we fought yet again like we've never fought before. He told me to leave the apartment. I thought it was over. And I guess it was. And I'm still sorry about it.
Then I was whisked off the Italy out of the clear blue sky where I worried away at my fingernails for ages wondering what was next in this constant stream of bad luck. Only to come home and eventually work up the nerve to go see Tim...where, I think he forgave me. And I'm so happy about that.
But my luck seemed to keep going. I called Dylan last night...I don't know why. I keep thinking about it but I can't think of a legitimate reason. All I do know is I'm glad I did. Even if we're not together I don't want to fight with him. And Tim knows that.
We talked about nothing to begin with. It got awkward a few times though. It seemed everything kept going back to when we were dating. Though in a negative light. Luckily we steered the conversation enough nothing happened. The phone call ended as easy as it started and there...finally seems as if there are no hard feelings. That's all I wanted.
Now, I am...going to go see Tim I think. I'm just really nervous. The wedding is so close. Jess is going frantic lol
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[19 Mar 2006|12:59am] |
So um... yeah... I'm alive.
I'm not avoiding anybody.
I'm in Roma right now. It was one of those trips where you have exactly 8 hours to plan, and 7.5 of it is looking for your passport and extra underwear. My Great Aunt Adelina had a stroke and we had to rush to see her before she passed. She held on for two days longer than anybody expected, but then died peacefully. The funeral was yesterday, and we're coming home in a couple of days.
I would have updated sooner, but while I was looking for my passport, I dumped my laptop right onto the floor and it wouldn't turn on afterwards. I'm using my cousin's ancient computer that looks like it was pieced together (or possibly carved) by a Cromagnon man and I was lucky to even get it to turn on.
So yeah... still alive.
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